I never knew
by NeverEndingFandoms18
Summary: just a little one shot about Merlin and Arthur's unspoken love. slash. CHARACTER DEATH. dont like dont read. i may be adding a second chapter if anyone would like.


I never knew.

Pairing Merlin and Arthur.

I do not own Merlin, the BB does. Any mistakes are my own. Please review.

Once again, it was all Merlin's fault. If the stupid idiot had not stepped on that twig, they would not be cowering behind a tree Arthur thought as he glanced behind him. He sighed and then was brought to attention as he heard rustling coming from in front of him.

He felt Merlin nudge him and Arthur thrust his hand down, telling him to be quite.

It was a routine patrol; there had been some sightings of Morgana's men on the boarders and within the kingdom itself. It was also rumoured that they were heading for Camelot. _Of course they would be._ Arthur thought and tightened his grip on his sword he was keeping by his side, just in case.

They were ambushed; he and Merlin had lost the rest of the patrol. Arthur had seen Gwaine and Percival trying to keeping them at bay but to no avail. Merlin had been tugging at his arm, leading him away from Morgana's men. So they had become separate from the rest of the group. It was clear that some of Morgana's men saw them. Arthur had never run so fast in all his life. Soon enough they were out of sight and safe, for the time being anyway.

"Arthur."

Arthur rolled his eyes and carried on looking in the other direction. Then he felt Merlin touch his arm.

"Arthur."

He clenched his jaw and still did not turn round. Why was Merlin always being such an idiot _all_ of the time? Why couldn't he try to act reasonable, try and act mature?

"Arthur!"

Merlin was clutching at his arm now, Arthur knew something was wrong. He heard it in his manservant's voice. He turned as three men faced them. They were dressed in the uniform of Morgana. Two of them were clutching swords; the other one was holding a bow and arrow.

"Arthur…"

He looked at merlin, fear running through his eyes. Merlin had grown up so much since he arrived at Camelot all those years ago. He was nothing more than a boy was then. Arthur turned his head and looked the three men up and down. There had to be some way to get out of this mess. He alone could not take three men on; it was made worse by one of them having a bow and arrow. One of them was bound to get hurt. Arthur had to make sure it was him. He could not let anything happen to Merlin. He meant too much to him. He could not bear it if something happened to Merlin.

He lowered his sword and stepped closer to the three men.

"Arthur what are you doing?" he heard merlin say, caution and fear running through his voice. It was enough to make Arthur turn and smile reassuringly at his reverent.

"I'm sure we can sort this out like adults can't we gentlemen?" he asked the men. They seemed taken aback at his and looked at each other. Arthur grinned, just what he wanted to happen.

He lunged forward, knocking the man with the bow and arrow to the floor and realised that his sword had pierced his leg. The man let out a cry of pain and Arthur knew that other two would pounce on him.

He attacked the man on his right and kicked him hard in the stomach so he fell to his knees. Now there was only one man left, they circled for a moment before Arthur lunged again. This one was more of a challenge. It took longer for Arthur to get him down on the ground.

Then he heard a scream. He had never wanted to hear that ever in his life. He froze and gently turns round. He watched as Merlin fell to his knees, an arrow was stuck deep in his chest. Arthur felt a scream fall from his lips as he dropped his sword and ran over to merlin just in time to catch him in his arms. He held Merlin close, Arthur could feel tears running down his checks already.

"merlin." He whispered as Merlin was struggling in his arms. "It's alright Merlin. I have you. We just need to get you back to Gaius and you'll be alright."

Merlin's eyes locked with his and he shook his head gently. "No Arthur. Not this time." He said and instantly let out a groan of pain.

Arthur made little comforting noises, knowing that it would not do anything. Merlin was in too much pain and he was useless. He cannot do anything.

More tears fell from his eyes. He hugged Merlin closer. "All those times you have saved my life Merlin. Please let me try. Let me try and save you." He said.

Merlin just shook his head again, tears also running freely down his face. "Arthur…there's nothing you can do." He whispered.

Arthur screwed his eyes shut and grunted whilst he clenched his jaw. He started rocking gently forwards and backwards. "I can't lose you merlin!" he shouted, looking down at his manservant.

"Promise me something Arthur." Merlin grunted as more tears fell from his eyes. Arthur brushed the tears away with his thumb and cupped the side of Merlin's face gently. It was really breaking his heart to see him crying, to know he was in pain.

"anything." He said, sniffing to stop himself crying.

"Promise me you will go after Gwen." Merlin said.

Arthur turned his head, suddenly unable to look Merlin in the eye. "I can't Merlin. Don't ask me to do that."

Merlin grunted loudly in pain. "Why not Arthur?"

Arthur turned his head back to look at is servant. "Because I love someone else Merlin. I cannot lead Gwen on. It would not be right." He confessed. He felt a blush rush up his neck.

"This person can't be more important that Gwen."

Arthur let out a tearful laugh and held Merlin closer. He gently took off his cloak and laid it over Merlin, wrapping him like a new born babe. "They are very important. He has captured my heart from the very first day I laid eyes on him. I cannot undo that. However, I have always been too scared of the consequences to say something. I was worried what my father would do if he ever found out."

Merlin was silent for a moment, apart from his rasping breathes. "but…Uther is dead Arthur. Why are you scared?"

"I never knew that it was possible to love another man merlin. I always thought it was wrong, but I don't care anymore." Arthur said and took a deep shaky breath. "I love you Merlin.

Merlin's eyes shut tightly and Arthur held his breath. He knew he should not have said anything. He should have stayed quite. He did not want Merlin to hate him. He wanted to save his servant.

"I love you too Arthur. You clotpole."

Merlin's eyes were now open and gazing into his own. Arthur brushed the tears away from his face again. "You do?" he whispered. He knew that he was going to wake up soon. That this would, all is a dream. Then Merlin would come bustling in with his breakfast and generally making a fool of himself.

He wanted that to happen so badly.

"I do Arthur. Completely and truly. Why did you not say anything before"

Arthur sniffed. "You know why Merlin." He said.

Merlin let out a cry of pain. "Arthur…I think the arrow was coated in poison…I can't…" he said, tears' rocking his body in heart breaking sobs.

Arthur felt fear run through his body as he clutched merlin tighter. "No! No, I will not let this happen! I won't let you die Merlin!" he screamed and frantically looked around him. There was no living person to be seen. "Help!" he shouted, hoping that the knights of Camelot would hear him and come to his aid. "Help me!"

"Arthur, it's no use." Merlin whispered.

Arthur looked back down at the man who now lay quite in his arms. His eyelids were drooping and his lips had a blue tinge to them. It made Merlin's lips stand out from his face, which had lost its entire colour. Arthur took hold of one of Merlin's hand and held it, it was icy cold.

"I can't lose you merlin." He whispered.

"You won't ever lose me." Merlin said. He reached up and brushed the hair from Arthur's forehead. "I love you."

Arthur let out a sob. "I love you too." He said. Then without a word, Arthur leant down and pressed his lips to Merlin's. He felt his servant respond and then, a moment later, Arthur felt Merlin go limp in his arms. He pulled pack, pressed one chaste kiss to Merlin's now blue lips and a kiss on his forehead.

He pulled Merlin up against him and rocked again backwards and forwards. He let out a howl and sobbed uncontrollability.

 _Merlin was dead._

Arthur felt a hand on his arm. Someone was trying to pull merlin away from him. He hung on even more and he stirred in his sleep. How long had he been there? He opened his eyes and caught a sight of red in front of him. He heard people talking, he did not know if they were talking to each other or at him, but he did not care.

He opened his eyes slowly; it took a while for them to adjust to the light. It was dusk now in the forest. He looked down and wished he had not. Merlin was lying towards him. It just looked like he was sleeping. Fresh tears ran down his face that was rigid with the dried tears already staining it.

"Sire, sire. You have to let him go."

Arthur looked up and saw Sir Leon looking down at him. The knight knelt down to his eye level and laid a hand on his shoulder. "I am sorry sire. There nothing to do apart from gets him back to Camelot."

He nodded and looked down at the lifeless form. He let Sir Leon pick him up and carry merlin away from him in his arms.

Gwaine helped him to his feet. Arthur could not stop the tears rolling down his face, nor did he want them to stop. The knights slowly walked away from him. Arthur took a few paces away from the group and looked out at the horizon. He looked down at his hand and opened it. Merlin had pressed a ring into his hand.

 _I will always be with you Arthur. To help, support and guide you. You will never be alone. And remember I will always love you._

Arthur closed his hand and put the ring in his tunic pocket to put on a chain later. He would wear it round his neck. He would always remember.

 _I love you Arthur._

 **I may be adding a second chapter to his if anyone would like.**

 **Please review.**


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